Finding effective co-parenting strategies following a divorce or separation can be challenging. You want to see your child thrive and develop meaningful relationships with family members, but things can be complicated when you and the other parent are not on the same page.

Sometimes, even the most amicable co-parenting arrangements can get messy, and mistakes can jeopardize your custody agreement and relationship with your child. A family law attorney can explain some of the most common co-parenting mistakes parents make, allowing you to build better relationships, strengthen your bond with your child, and keep you out of legal hot water.

Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Custody Agreement

Maintaining a healthy custody arrangement is crucial for your child’s physical and mental well-being. Parents always want to prioritize their child and keep their best interests at heart. However, even unintentional mistakes can put your custody rights at risk. Some of the most common co-parenting pitfalls that can potentially impact your custody agreement include:

Failing To Follow the Court-Ordered Custody Schedule

Let’s face it, things happen that we can’t always control. Custody agreements work best when co-parents can be flexible when emergencies or other issues arise. However, ignoring or repeatedly deviating from the court-ordered schedule (without the other parent’s consent) can quickly undermine your credibility. Examples of inappropriate deviations include consistently picking up your child late, refusing to allow visits, or making unilateral changes to visitation. The court views constant violations as disregarding the custody order, which can lead to consequences such as parenting time modifications or even reduced parenting time.

Speaking Negatively About the Other Parent

Divorce and learning how to cope post-divorce can be a highly confusing and emotional time for parents. Some people find it challenging to work with a former partner, but negative thoughts should remain thoughts. Badmouthing your co-parent in front of your child, or trying to turn your child against the other parent, can be considered parental alienation. It also confuses children and can create a negative impression of their other parent, harming the child’s emotional well-being and relationship with other family members.

Communicating Unclearly

Good communication is key to effective co-parenting arrangements. Refusing to share important information, such as school events, medical needs, or extracurricular schedules, creates unnecessary conflict. Withholding information from the other parent can also be a form of poor communication.

The court may view failing to communicate effectively as an intentional lack of cooperation with the custody agreement and the other parent’s rights and responsibilities. Judges expect parents to speak civilly and put the child’s needs above personal grievances. Parents who find it challenging to communicate effectively may find that parental communication apps help keep conversations organized and civil.

Involving Children in Parental Disputes

Unfortunately, not everything is going to go your way. Part of being an adult and a parent is learning to manage conflict. Never ask your child to act as a messenger, interrogate them about the other parent’s life, or expose them to adult disputes. Involving a child in an adult conflict puts them in an uncomfortable and confusing position. Courts prioritize shielding children from conflict, and repeated violations may reflect poorly on your ability to co-parent effectively.

Making Unilateral Decisions

In co-parenting arrangements involving joint physical and legal custody, you cannot make significant decisions for your child without communicating with or involving the other parent. Legally, they also have specific rights and responsibilities, meaning unilateral choices can violate your custody agreement.

Our Family Law Team Will Put Your Child First

At Parvey, Larson, and McLean, PLLC, we want to help you build and maintain a meaningful relationship with your child. For us, that means helping you find legal solutions to your co-parenting dilemmas.

Contact our office today, and let’s talk about your situation. We put people first, attorneys second.