Logo Icon

PLM Family Law

  1. Home
  2.  → 
  3. Divorce
  4.  → What is gaslighting?

What is gaslighting?

Emotionally abusive tactics often play a role in divorce. These tactics may even persist well after your divorce is complete, which can complicate co-parenting and other matters.

According to Healthline, gaslighting is a common form of abuse that occurs within romantic relationships. Being able to identify its signs and signals is the first step to putting an end to the behaviors once and for all. Here are a few things to look for.

Denying what was previously said

Gaslighters often lie about their words and actions to throw their victims off balance. For example, an abusive ex might claim they never said or did something you are certain of. While definitely frustrating, these behaviors can cause you to question your own grasp on reality after so long, which is the ultimate goal. If you are unsure of what is happening, you are in a decreased position to defend yourself.

Making light of your feelings and emotions

Gaslighters may also question the legitimacy of your feelings. If you claim something they did or said to you was offensive, they will counter that you are too sensitive. This takes away their responsibility in the matter and places it solely on your shoulders. It also makes you less likely to air grievances in the future.

Lying about what other people have said

Gaslighters also bring other people into the fold, whether they are or not. For example, they will claim your friends and family also share their view of you, which decreases your self-esteem even further. In many cases, their claims are not actually rooted in reality.

When gaslighting affect your custody agreement, the best course of action is to contact the court. Custody orders are also court orders, which means you and your ex must follow them. When they are not followed, the court can intervene.